|internkira : Prompt- I see that you also dressed as a large rubber duck. We are the worst bank robbers ever|
(Super short and super random. I tried to shove as many awkward lines in as I could muster. I hope you don’t mind that its Dragon Age. You didn’t specify, so I just threw something out there. Enjoy!)
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Isabela ground her heel into the concrete, jaw locked in a snarl. How could this have happened? They had back up plans for back up plans, a winding list of plots that filled two notebooks and six chalkboards. Every little detail had been primed and prepared, laid out like works of art. It had been so simple. All they had to do was show up at the banking firm’s Halloween party, act as strangers to dissuade suspicion, and slip out with a few million dollars in cold, hard cash. A pair of nugs could have pulled it off. Hell, two blind genlocks with a fear of banking firms could have pulled it off. They were Zevran and Isabela, Thedas’s premier thieving duo…and they were both dressed as large rubber ducks. Large, slutty rubber ducks. Which matching red fishnet. And bags that looked like Ernie from Sesame Street.
It was a tragedy.
“Don’t blame me! We should have coordinated…er, uncoordinated.” He adjusted his sleeve and pitched back on his heels, chest puffed out like an incredibly awkward bird. “You were supposed to handle these sort of things. My job was the big stuff. You know, like breaking into the safe and-“Isabela stepped forward, eyes burning with the fire of ten thousand baby mages. She took hold of Zevran’s arm, wrenching him close. Her breath tickled his face and he swallowed; what was she doing? A grin cracked across Isabela’s face like a fisher in the earth, her grip tightening on the elf’s arm.
“You can’t even pick locks,” She hissed, shoving away from her partner and turning toward the firm. Behind her, Zevran gasped. He clutched at his chest, leaning over as if he might faint. “How could you say such a thing?” He said, earning nothing but a snort. She grabbed the front door, looking back once it opened and the warm party air washed over her. Fluorescent lighting cast shadows on her face, wide grin but a smudge in all the darkness. “I don’t shy away from the truth, love.”
Something inside Zevran shifted. Isabela’s words pried open the lock on his heart (which he’d had insufficient skill to open himself), sending him bolting across the road. Within seconds, he’d flung himself upon Isabela like a Templar to lyrium. She buckled beneath the unexpected weight, one heel snapping as she crashed to the earth. There they wrestled, grabbing at the cheap Halloween store fabric and flinging insults at one another. “You’re the worst captain I’ve ever seen!” “Oh, so great to hear that coming from you, Mr. Assassin-who-failed-his-mission.” “Well, at least I don’t steal holy artifacts!” “Shut up, you totally would.” “Well, yes alright but-“
A pair of strong hands wrenched them apart, freckled fingers knotted up in their ridiculous costumes. They continued to swat at each other, more like wet cats than infamous burglars.
Thirty minutes later, locked in the back of a police car, Zevran chuckled. The lump on the side of his head grew with every moment and his lip was swollen, but he laughed anyway. Isabela quirked a brow at him, ignoring the pain in her back and the puffiness of her eye. She watched in silence for a while before the unspoken joke claimed her too. They cracked up together, hands cuffed behind their backs and facing imminent incarceration. Isabela looked to her old friend, licking up the blood from her cracked lip.
“We are the worst bank robbers ever,” She said, shaking her head and falling back into the joke. Zevran pressed his head to her shoulder, cuddling up close despite the strain in his arms. “Yes, we are,” He whispered. “We truly are, my friend…but at least I didn’t try and flirt with the officer.”
“What can I say? I like gingers.”